Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Haven't written in a while...sorry.

I haven't written for a while. There is no excuse really...I just didn't. I was reading over some of the things I wrote back in February and March and it felt good to read about the thoughts I was having just 6 months ago.

It is amazing how your consciousness and awareness of yourself and the world around you is continually evolving and changing and morphing and yet on a day to day basis, you don't really notice any change. You feel like you are the same old boring person you have always been. I can see how my sense of self and life has transformed slightly just in the last six months.

I guess my theory is that real internal changes inside myself, whether intended or unintended, never occur rapidly...they can't. I do have defining moments occasionally, but those are like mileposts along the road to becoming a different (and hopefully better) person.

I feel like I want to be more continuously cognizant of my personal progression into that "hopefully better person." It seems like most of the time, I just bounce through my day, from compulsion to compulsion, without much thought about how day like that turn into weeks and years and decades of very little direction and actual progress.

Like I have said before in this blog, one of my most treasured personal convictions is that the future holds endless and eternal and beautiful possibilities for myself and everyone else in the world, but they will remain nothing but UNCLAIMED possiblities and dreams if we let them slip by. How many have I already lost? That stinks that my laziness causes so much potential to be lost.

It is up to me to claim these unimaginable opportunities.

Speaking of potential...

My wife and I just found out 6 days ago that she is pregnant! We are so, so happy. We had those nagging worries that we would have trouble, like any couple that has never had kids. But let's just say that it didn't take long once she went off the birth control. We have been planning this ever since we got married, but the reality of it all for me is still sinking in. The thought that we have created a body for another spiritual person who will independently maneuver his/her way though this crazy world of ours is staggering. I want to give him/her the greatest possibilities and opportunities I can.