I've been thinking a lot lately about my life for the past 6 years or so....people I've known, things I've tried, times I've been embarrassed, proud, ashamed, excited, frustrated and happy. I've been trying to put it all into some kind of context in my mind. I think that until I got married 2 months ago, that was a really hard thing to do for some reason. I can see now the purpose for a lot of the things that I experienced. I can see how I have changed and matured and grown and generally become a better person in that time. That feels good. I can also see the lingering character flaws and weaknesses, the holes in my armor as it were. I guess we all have them.
I love my wife and almost every day that we are married, she does something or says something that makes me realize how right it was for me to marry her...how easy a decision it was for me to propose to her after only knowing her for a month. She is a person that makes me want to be better than I am. I am a lucky man.
I guess the point of this post is this: almost all of my experiences for the last six years led me eventually to the best decision I've ever made (i.e. my wife), even though along the road sometimes, it was really hard for me to see the purpose of a lot of my decisions and frustrations. Much of that time, I felt like I was spinning my wheels and I worried that I was headed in the wrong direction or at least not in the right direction. A lot of the time, my faith waivered as to whether or not my life would go where I wanted it to go. I can't really blame myself for feeling that at the time, but I can say now that my past makes a lot more sense to me, now that I see where it led me. I guess it is the wisdom and courage that I aquired along the way that made that understanding possible.
Good Night!
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